“In ancient times, when the sun disappeared, people believed the gods were angry at humankind and sent a warning of imminent destruction. Current events have recently proved this ancient wisdom to be true — the end is near!”
Astrology with Reece and Leah: Back to school horoscopes
“Unfortunately for you, the stars do not rest, and neither does the editorial staff.”
October Horoscopes
Here are your totally, 100% certifiably accurate horoscopes for October.
This week’s horoscopes
Some thoughts on the newest horoscopes.
Finals week horoscope
We’ve carefully crafted your finals week horoscopes so you can figure out what kind of neurotic stress ball you’ll be this week. Happy finals, happy holidays, and good freakin’ luck.