Ask Abby: Kindness is cool


DISCLAIMER: I am not licensed to actually give you advice. I’m in college just like you readers and you can take what you like from what I write. I do not promise any miracles, A’s on exams or flying cars. I am really sorry about that last one

Being away from home can feel very isolating. College is a big change which is why it can lead to feelings of homesickness and sadness. I know that a lot of people travel far away for college. Leaving your hometown friends and family is even harder with increased physical distance, such as with out-of-state students. A new town or state can bring a lot of stress and emotions to the surface for new college first years and that feels really big when you’re 18 years old. 

This new campus can feel scary, but it’s also filled with so much joy. The culture can feel magnetic when it’s filled with positivity and being at campus events can make you feel like you belong in a community. When I think about my first year at Butler, I think about how lonely I was when I came to campus in the fall. Sometimes, I even struggled just to leave my bed — and I know that I’m not alone in that. I had to try and go out to meet new people which can seem really daunting at the beginning of the year. But, going out to campus events and talking to new people is something that I thank myself for even though it wasn’t easy. 

One thing that I think this campus needs more than ever is some kindness. When we think about how we talk to people, being friendly is one of the things that I value most. 

Sometimes it can feel hard to stop being a hater. Classes start to stack up, you get busy, and you feel like you have no time for anything and seeing the negative starts to feel really easy. Wanting to complain and talk about what’s going wrong can feel great over a cup of coffee or a sweet treat and needing to get that off your chest is perfectly normal. That feeling of wanting to vent about your problems is something we all can relate to, but that also doesn’t mean that it needs to be public. 

Posting on social media about how something sucks or is annoying can cause more people to feel that way too, creating a vicious cycle of negativity within the community. And, when that cycle starts it’s almost impossible to end. 

There is nothing more contagious than Yikyak and if you fall victim to the hate it can feel all consuming. Being a bully to people publicly, even if it’s on an anonymous social media app, is an immature way to handle problems. When something is big enough to spread hate and rude words across social media then it’s big enough to communicate to that person your thoughts and have a conversation about it. 

Keeping campus a positive space is something that I have always really admired about Butler. Even when something may be plaguing my mind, being out around campus can brighten my mood super fast. Whether it be getting a cake pop from Starbucks or going to hammock on the mall, being out and about around campus can feel good for the soul. 

Walking around campus, I love when I see people that I know and saying hi is one of my favorite things to do that brings such an easy smile to people’s faces. I love seeing joy around campus whether that be seeing dogs walking around campus or CCS bringing Scooter to the mall to say goodbye — the Scooter one seems sad, but it was nice to see him happy one last time before he left Butler. 

I know that life can seem like it’s all out to get you and that letting out those frustrations can seem helpful but not online. I can’t lie to you and say that I’m not a hater at times. I can say however that taking that hate out publicly is not only not a good look but it doesn’t accomplish anything. Finding someone that you trust and can talk to about your problems and how they may be negatively impacting can feel really cathartic. 

Spreading hate and negativity around campus brings down the morale of our school. We are all just trying to get through college as best we know how and that doesn’t need to include publicly bullying someone online. Being kind isn’t hard, and it’s pretty cool too. 

I believe in you dear readers. You got this. 


If you want to ask a question please email me at, use the link on The Butler Collegian’s Instagram, send a dog with your question or you can walk up to me and ask. Dogs preferred. 


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