“Unfortunately for you, the stars do not rest, and neither does the editorial staff.”
October Horoscopes
Here are your totally, 100% certifiably accurate horoscopes for October.
This week’s horoscopes
Some thoughts on the newest horoscopes.
Finals week horoscope
We’ve carefully crafted your finals week horoscopes so you can figure out what kind of neurotic stress ball you’ll be this week. Happy finals, happy holidays, and good freakin’ luck.