Blue could never catch this squirrel. Graphic by Abby Hoehn.
SILAS OWENS | OPINION COLUMNIST | szowens@butler.edu
If I had been one of the unlucky students to be visited by Blue to announce my Butler admission, I would have chosen another school. The dog is a campus menace and should be replaced.
Aidan Cain, a sophomore astronomy-astrophysics and mechanical engineering double major, shared his own shocking interaction with Blue that occurred before his first-year classes even started.
“Last year on the second or third day [of marching band camp], Blue was brought out [while] we were just practicing,” Cain said. “Butler Blue went a little ballistic and started barking and running toward us and got away from his handler … All of a sudden, [Blue] turned and went directly at me.”
To be chased by such a powerful and athletic specimen as Butler Blue IV must have been a terrifying enough experience on its own, but Cain’s horror didn’t end there.
“Naturally, I ran away, and the handler was yelling at me, ‘Stop running. He won’t hurt you,’” Cain said. “[But] I did not believe him at all … He didn’t actually hurt me. Just slobbered a lot over my leg.”
Wikipedia lists 45 U.S. universities with bulldogs as mascots — why should we contribute to that number? What if, instead of copying Yale’s branding exactly, we came up with something a little more creative?
Without further ado, here is my list of mascots that would be better than Butler Blue IV.
Squirrels
Have you ever seen a wild bulldog running around campus? I know I haven’t. But you can hardly walk from Jordan Hall to Starbucks without a squirrel prancing across your path, acorn in its paws.
The Butler squirrels are not like your everyday squirrel. They are about twice the size and a quarter as scared as others. They have also been known to hiss at passersby from above and even hurl acorns at their heads. I have often wondered if the campus squirrels plot to make people slip by covering the ground outside Atherton with acorns.
A good mascot should have an intimidation factor that strikes fear into the hearts of opposing teams. Let’s be real, Blue is adorable and isn’t scaring anyone. An absolutely yoked squirrel like the ones on the mall would be much more effective.
Black bears
A black bear mascot — in addition to being bigger and scarier than a bulldog — would have twice the alliterative power.
Andy Schmidt, a senior P2 pharmacy major in the MBA program and third-generation Butler student came up with the grand idea of a black bear.
“One [mascot alternative] I thought of was black bears,” Schmidt said. “There’s a book called ‘The Bears of the Blue River.’ It took place in Shelbyville which is about 45 minutes from here. That would incorporate some state history and keep the alliteration.”
Despite being the youngest of a lineage of Butler sports fans, Schmidt couldn’t say what bulldogs have to do with Indiana or Butler. Black bears, however, were once common in Indiana and have a special place in local history.
Geese
Anybody who has tried to walk through Holcomb Gardens in the springtime has likely noticed the impact geese have on the bottom of their shoes. They are everywhere and they are terrifying — perhaps the most aggressive animal on this list.
I ended up at an impasse multiple times last year while trying to walk toward Broad Ripple along the canal. The bird would stare at me and hiss, ready to attack if I stepped any closer. I had to cross the street to get around it.
A goose mascot would also connect to recent campus history, recalling the infamous Irwin goose. This fabled fowl, scourge of studiers and bane of book lovers was known for its tendency to violently defend the library from all who sought to enter.
Also, imagine if — instead of a dog that rides a car — we had a goose mascot that rode a Bird Scooter.
Another breed of dog
One of the clearest downsides of replacing Blue and the bulldog mascot would be losing the live animal mascot that makes Butler unique. The obvious solution to this and the problem of the overuse of the bulldog mascot is just to get a different dog. After a few years, the students wouldn’t be too angry about it.
Avery King, a sophomore music education and music performance double major, likes Blue but thinks there could be better dog options than a bulldog.
“I think that Blue is hilarious, mostly because he looks really stupid,” King said. “He really looks like there’s not a single thought behind those eyes, so I like him … I just feel bad for [bulldogs] because they can’t breathe. They snore a lot. That’s kind of unsettling to me. So maybe just any dog that doesn’t do that, any dog that can breathe normally out of its face.”
There are plenty of more functional dog breeds that also start with “b.” A switch to the Butler beagles or basset hounds or Bernese mountain dogs instead would almost certainly make campus a better place to be.
Borgs
Riddle me this: what is the one thing Butler students like more than a drink on the knoll? A few drinks on the knoll — preferably in the form of a borg.
The borg is especially common on the morning of Homecoming, which Schmidt described as one of the biggest campus events each year.
“Homecoming is a huge event [that] I always have a lot of fun with,” Schmidt said. “The students do a lot of fun things between the football game and going out partying and the senior traditions [of] going to bars in the morning.”
You know what homecoming event Schmidt didn’t mention? The Bulldog Beauty Contest. Neither Schmidt nor King attended the oxymoronic show this year.
“I did not [go],” King said. “I really wanted to, though … but I would go to a borg-naming competition.”
Unfortunately, Blue and the bulldog mascot probably won’t actually be replaced by a borg or anything else any time soon. People seem to love Blue a little bit too much, although I’m still not fully convinced they don’t just like his Lightning McQueen car. But, if the university does ever decide to retire the bulldog lineage, they can start here in their search for a replacement.
