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STEFANEE MONTESANTOS | OPINION COLUMNIST | firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy Halloween and welcome to this month’s edition of emotional turmoil according to the cosmos. It is I, your self-proclaimed Butler Collegian resident psychic, and I am here to tell you exactly how spooky this Halloween is going to be — according to the floating masses that shine in the night sky, of course.
As of Oct. 23, it is officially Scorpio season. I know, terrifying. Just wait, though — it gets worse. The Moon is also in Scorpio, as well as Venus. And, to make this Halloween themed episode of our lives even scarier, Mercury has the audacity to go into retrograde…on Halloween…WHILE IN SCORPIO! If you are lost with all of this astrology lingo, just know that the Scorpio sign can be summed up into one simple word: intense.
With the Moon and Venus in Scorpio, every emotion is intensified. Now, I know this sounds scary, but it could be a good thing in many situations. Embrace the heightened emotions rather than running away from them. When Mercury goes into retrograde, it basically reverses the natural functions of Mercury’s placement within your chart. Simply, it just means that communication and decision making becomes extremely difficult to access during this time.
With Mercury being in Scorpio at this time, it intensifies these aspects. But, with it being in Scorpio, it also allows us to look introspectively and embrace the darker and rare sides of us that we like to hide away from others. With embracing these inner demons comes the ability for relationships with others to grow and strengthen in ways that you would least expect them to. See? Not everything about Scorpio season is something straight out of your stress dreams.
Aries: Things are moving really fast right about now. Fall break was entirely too short — one extra day would have made ALL the difference — and now you are swimming neck deep in all of your responsibilities. First off, take a deep breath. This is college; this self-inflicted stress is a feeling felt by many. So, my advice to you in these chaotic times is to prioritize — what is good for you and what is not?
Taurus: Cue “Spice Up Your Life” by The Spice Girls. Life is too mundane for you right now. Things were exciting in the beginning of the semester with a bunch of new things, but now we have reached the plateau of the semester. What better time for Halloween to be literally right around the corner? So, bring that costume idea to reality and flaunt it this weekend. You deserve all the attention.
Gemini: Halloween — a day where it is socially encouraged for you to actually be two different people. Showing up as your hidden alter ego could quite be the spookiest thing yet. And with Mercury in Scorpio here to bring out your dark side, it will be cathartic, really.
Cancer: This Scorpio season vibe really is not your cup of tea. Being the peace-maker that you are, the confrontational nature of Scorpios is very harsh for you. Things may feel hectic right now, so find time to rest this Halloweekend and eat as much candy as you want. Sugar raises serotonin levels.
Leo: You and your Zodiac twin, Aries, are both on the go these days. The to-do list is constantly growing, but where Aries is encouraged to slow down, you have two possible outcomes to this turbulent astrological forecast. You, my dramatically self-destructive friend, will either rise or crumble under all this pressure. I know, dramatic. My advice to you this Scorpio season is to look inward and take strength from your inner demons. You are strong!
Virgo: You really are just feeling ALL the feelings right now. Venus in Scorpio can do that to you. Unfortunately, the New Moon in Scorpio does not help either. Just find a time to sit down, turn on a sad movie and grab your snack of choice. Sometimes a good cry really helps.
Libra: Libra season is over — sad! The last season brought you really high — you are an air sign after all — but remember to come back down to earth. Scorpio season is all about developing deeper connections and exploring what is good for you and what is easy. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with what you find here on ground level.
Scorpio: Your chaotic, psychopathic self is truly loving every minute of this season. You can unleash those wicked impulses and exist as the heightened being that you are. You and the stars have aligned and absolutely nobody is ready for it.
Sagittarius: Hang tight, hun — Sagittarius season is almost here. To be honest, this could be a really productive time for you. The sharp energy of Scorpio might be the kick you need to make some awesome improvements for yourself.
Capricorn: Emotions, feelings, intensity — terrifying! You really are not having it right now. Acknowledging your emotions is the absolute last thing you want to do at all times, so it might feel like you are trying to swallow a golf ball for the time being. Just make some chamomile tea and try to relax, I promise you this is only temporary.
Aquarius: OK… the existential crisis you are in this time around might actually be real, with Mercury in retrograde AND everything else in Scorpio. Enjoy Halloween with your friends, but immediately after we need you to start practicing some self-care tactics. Take a lavender bath bomb, light a candle, bake something sweet. If you learn anything this season, it will be the importance of self love.
Pisces: Have you been spontaneously crying a lot these days? Not that that is something drastically out of the ordinary for you, but if it has been almost constant since around Wednesday of last week, I’ve got news for you. It is not you, or your crumbling life, because that most definitely is not the case. It is just the stars… blame it all on the stars.