J.K. Simmons is unnecessarily ripped as Santa Claus. Photo courtesy of Screen Rant.
JACK WILLIAMS | CULTURE CO-EDITOR | jrwilliams@butler.edu
TORI SATCHWELL | STAFF REPORTER | tsatchwell@butler.edu
“Film Fanatics” focuses on the latest and greatest cinema has to offer. Ranging from the newest movies in theaters to familiar favorites, enjoy thoughtful reviews that inspire further reflection or several rewatches. Read on to discover a new favorite film.
There are many classic ways to celebrate Christmas, from baking chocolate chip cookies to exchanging gifts and even treating oneself to a holiday film. If readers have ever burnt their cookies and gotten an ugly sweater all at the same time, then they might have a baseline for what the experience of watching “Red One” felt like.
“Red One” was a wild sleigh ride from start to finish. After Santa Claus — portrayed by J.K. Simmons — is kidnapped by an evil, mysterious figure, Santa’s head Enforcement Logistics and Fortification (E.L.F.) bodyguard Callum Drift — portrayed by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson — begrudgingly enlists the help of elite tracker Jack O’Malley — portrayed by Chris Evans — to find Santa and save Christmas.
“Red One” opened with Santa Claus himself at the mall, greeting eager kids, only to be interrupted by a beef-themed influencer. As Drift casts his stern eyes over the surrounding shoppers, he sees only selfish adults. This tragic portrayal of a lost childhood is followed with Santa-themed puns in a jarring change of tone.
Senior biochemistry major Mathias Vander Eide felt that the marketing and trailers for “Red One” were misleading.
“I saw The Rock, Chris Evans and the talking polar bear [named Garcia] and [thought], ‘Oh, this is a comedy, a light-hearted action movie,’” Vander Eide said. “But no, they took it very seriously. Having The Rock as Santa’s bodyguard was funny in itself, but he didn’t really make any jokes.”
The relationships between the characters suffered from the same lack of self-awareness.
Drift and O’Malley have fairly standard character arcs of reluctant partners to battle-tested friends, but the actors fail to develop any sort of chemistry or play off of each other’s differences. During an attempt at a joke within one awkward driving scene, Drift fails to crack so much as a smile when he suggests that O’Malley should consider the acronym E.L.F. to stand for “Extremely Large Force”.
The other rocky relationship that drove the plot was O’Malley’s struggle to connect with his son, Dylan, who is alienated by his father’s sleazebag lifestyle. The intention is to show that, despite everything, Drift and O’Malley need each other. If O’Malley — a Naughty Level 4 — can learn how to be nicer to his son, then Drift’s faltering faith in the goodness of the world can also be restored.
Vander Eide felt that “Red One” did not spend enough time developing this relationship.
“[The relationship] was predictable,” Vander Eide said. “[It’s the] classic father who does not pay attention to his son, but then learns that he’s been a horrible father, and everything is magically forgiven. They didn’t build up any of the characters. The first time we hear from the son is [him] calling his dad to say, ‘You are never here for me.’”
In addition, Evans plays O’Malley as such a scumbag right off the bat that his development is not believable — he literally takes candy from a baby. O’Malley needs a parole officer and therapy much more than a heart-to-heart with Saint Nick.
The character drama is set against the backdrop of a high-fantasy, futuristic vision of the North Pole where Santa’s sleigh is accompanied by jet fighters, and E.L.F. helpers in tactical gear wrangle mythical creatures. Though marred by generic CGI, this world is a fresh take on the nostalgic, wood-cabin depictions of the holiday world. As a bonus, viewers get to watch The Rock parkour across its rooftops and directly onto a jet ski.
Unfortunately, the visually entertaining action scenes are not enough to cover up the inexplicable nature of the “Red One” world. It is unclear why or how the North Pole has technology that would rival Wakanda. Drift also has the power to shrink Ant-Man style, which he randomly employs in battle to minimal effect and refuses to explain whatsoever.
The decision to withhold information about the “Red One” world, combined with the actors’ patronizing tone when they did offer explanations, seemed uniquely unsuited for audiences seeking holiday cheer.
On top of this, every character lacked a holly jolly spirit. Johnson’s face was as expressive as his alter ego “The Rock.” Somehow, the CGI polar bear Garcia was the most expressive character in the movie.
Lucy Liu, who played a character vaguely referred to as “Director,” actually might have recorded all her lines via Zoom. Evans’ facial expressions never matched the tone of the scene, seeming as if he was always a beat behind.
Additionally, Kiernan Shipka was horribly miscast as the Christmas Witch Gryla, a magical shapeshifter who changes outfits when her name is spoken. Shipka randomly had an accent that she would forget about halfway through the film and was as frightening as a partridge in a pear tree.
“Red One” was trying to appeal to fans of “Air Force One” when it should have been appealing to fans of “Cocomelon.” Many plot elements, like Santa Daddy, gambling and other purely horrific moments, did not match the tone of the plot itself. Its misguided target audience will leave families upset and adults confused.
Director Jake Kasdan must genuinely believe that “Red One” has the same target audience as “Big Mouth”, resulting in the worst cameo in recent cinema: Nick Kroll. Kroll plays a non-threatening drug lord, who delivers his lines in the weirdest way possible. His performance alone will leave audiences with a bad taste in their egg nog.
Despite its horrible CGI and bad acting, this movie was more expensive to make than “Captain America: Civil War”. “Red One” has a projected budget of $250 million, but most of the budget went to securing Johnson or, at least, ensuring he would show up on time.
Allegedly, Johnson would repeatedly show up to set at least seven hours late. His consistent tardiness forced the film’s budget to increase by $50 million, causing a near-impossible breakeven point. Johnson’s unprofessionalism is translated into his lackluster, lazy performance throughout the film.
“Red One” currently sits at $34.1 million in box office numbers after its opening weekend, and with the perplexingly high budget, it would take a Christmas miracle for this movie to break even.
This movie will haunt families as the iPad movie of choice for years to come. Even when audiences think they can escape, Garcia will force them to sit back in their chairs and rewatch until they are drained of all Christmas spirit.
“Red One” is currently out in theaters and will unfortunately be streaming soon on Amazon Prime Video to everyone’s (dis)merriment.
