Ask Abby: The case for cozy

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Full disclosure: I am not a licensed therapist. Honestly, I am not licensed in anything whatsoever. I’m just a gal with lots of opinions who enjoys giving unsolicited advice to almost anyone around me. So, if this is adverse advice, you can’t sue me or my place of work. Sorry!

“Lately you’ve been mentioning the weather a lot and I’ve been noticing that it affects me too! What can I do to keep from being miserable because of the lack of sun this winter?” — Loyal Reader

My mood is almost entirely tied to the weather. If it’s sunny, you can expect my typical shining disposition. If it’s not — you better watch out.

This seems to happen to a lot of the people around me as well, and Indiana winters are incredibly unforgiving. It can be hard to build and foster connections when everyone feels like, well, y’know.

There’s no way to entirely fix this problem, but there are some little things you can do to help.

One easy step you can take is to spend some time outside, even if it is chilly and gray. Going for a walk in the fresh air can reset your mood, and some exercise is good for the soul. Plus, we’ve gotta get those endorphins any way we can. Happy chemicals or bust!

While being outside can definitely help shape your attitude, the best way I’ve found to really combat the snowy scaries is to fully embrace coziness. It sounds like a farce, but it truly works.

Light your candles, grab your heated blankies, put on your softest and most worn-out hoodie. It’s time to get cozy, b*tch.

Becoming the coziest version of yourself may sound overwhelming, but it’s really not. It can be achieved in three easy steps.

First, take a deep breath. You can’t get cozy unless you’re calm. Shake off the stress of the semester and give yourself a break. Maybe stretch a little bit or go for a drive. Watch Dr. Pimple Popper videos. You deserve it.

Next, get comfortable, whatever that means for you. For me, that means fuzzy and themed — the theme part is very important — socks. I prefer cat socks. I like a huge hoodie, baggy sweats, a freshly washed face and my softest blanket. The teddy bear is optional.

Finally, do whatever activity feels the most like you in that moment, whatever that is. It doesn’t have to be productive. You can curate a Pinterest board, read a book or watch mindless reality TV. You can pet your cat or talk to your plants. Simply do a wholesome activity in your most comfortable state and reset.

Doing this allows you to reacquaint yourself with your truest form, who may have gone missing with the sun. When you get back to the basics, it’s easier to deal with the chilly weather and sad skies.

Get back to the you that emerges with the sun. We all miss her.

You are valuable, valid and loved, even when you’re feeling down. I promise,


If you have a question that you’d like to see discussed in Ask Abby, feel free to contact me via email, carrier pigeon or telepathy. 


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