Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
Stefanee Montesantos | Opinion Columnist | firstname.lastname@example.org
Welcome to the fall semester of 2019! Hot girl summer is over and it is now time to tap into our higher education gods and goddesses within. What better way to start off the scholastic year other than a good ol’ horoscope? The cosmos never lies, so if you are struggling through this year’s Welcome Week festivities, look to the stars — they know all.
First off, sorry to my fellow Leos, but our season is over. Sad, I know, but Virgo season has begun and, honestly, we are all here for it. It is the time for new beginnings and putting the puzzle pieces together. This Earth sign is productive and detail oriented but can teeter on the anxiety of perfectionism. It’s okay if you mess up a page in your bullet journal, tomorrow will still come. The moon is in Gemini, Venus and Mars are in Virgo, and Mercury IS NOT IN RETROGRADE! Mercury is actually in Leo so flirt! It! UP BABY!
Aries: I have two words for you…Get Bangs! Even if everyone tells you no. Honestly, that just makes you want to do it even more. You need a fresh start to this new semester, and what better way than a makeover. Make all those necks snap when you walk into your first class because baby, you deserve it!
Taurus: Honestly, you are probably thriving on them chill vibes right now. The wildness of new classes, first-years everywhere, and syllabi falling out of your folders does not phase you. Things are fresh and new and you just really love the fact that all of your friends are back in one large confine called the Butler Bubble.
Gemini: A multitasking QUEEN, if I have ever seen one. I mean, you have probably been juggling your dual personality for years now and no one has suspected you a fraud yet — cue slow clap. Your cleverness and wit will be your best friend this week and with Mercury in Leo, sweety, you have the golden tongue.
Cancer: Being away from your friends, from campus, and all your favorite professors really fuelled your summertime sadness, but you are here now and wow, are you happy about it. Now, the whole schedule thing really isn’t your favorite, but please promise me you won’t skip any classes already. The second day is just as important as the first, even if you are still going over the syllabus.
Leo: Okay, Leo season may be over, but hunny it still is your TIME! Getting stuff done, working towards your goals, and being around all of your amazing friends is everything you need to set things up for the next couple of months. Just make sure you have a killer fun fact to say in that awful ice breaker you are going to be forced into. Catch everyone’s attention; it’s not that hard for you.
Virgo: You really are thriving right now and it is truly a beautiful sight to see. You just spent the past four months living it up, soaking in all that Vitamin D and you are ready and rejuvenated for this new semester. With the Sun, Venus and Mars grounded in your favorite earth sign, you really are riding high.
Libra: You and Virgo are not that different. You both love putting things in order and fixating on a schedule. The only thing a Virgo Sun has on you is their handle on their emotions. With the Moon in Gemini, your lack of communication and inability to express your emotions is going to be heightened. We know Welcome Week is hectic, but communicate your emotions please…pretty please.
Scorpio: Please restrain from your toxic tendencies this coming week. Your close friends know you have a chaotic side and still love you for it, but if you want to make some awesome new friends this Welcome Week, think before you scare them off. We all know you love the intimidation factor though.
Sagittarius: This is probably really hard for you, buckling down and getting back to the daily grind. You just spent the past four months feeding that inner desire to travel and experience the wonders of the world, and now you are stuck in Indiana. It is tragic really, but that map hanging on your bedroom wall is the next best thing…right?
Capricorn: Schedules, planners, organization, structure — did you just start drooling or what? Literally everything about this coming week gets you pumped like a small child at a candy store. Just remember this feeling for when you hit that mid-semester slump and have four exams in a week and a paper due.
Aquarius: No, this isn’t another one of your young adult crisis, it’s just the first week of school. I know you’re always in some sort of existential crisis but I am here to remind you it is all in your head. Classes starting on Wednesday is not in your head though. That is very real and will happen no matter how many times you meditate about it.
Pisces: Please stop crying. That’s all I really have for you honestly. We know the first week of school can be a lot, but you don’t have to cry about it every day. If you feel like crying, ask yourself, do you really need to cry right now? The answer is almost always no.