AARON SMITH | OPINION COLUMNIST
Being single on a college campus is a tough feeling. Most of my friends are getting in relationships as if it is going out of style. Everyone is getting engaged or pregnant, but some of us are just watching Netflix and chilling by ourselves.
Butler is a “Community of Care,” always here to help out its members in need. Because of that, I have come up with the patent-pending Community of Care Package: Survival Kit For Single Students. Within the kit you will receive:
- Three Movie Passes
A pass for either you to go see three different movies or for you to take your third wheel status to the next level and invite your best friend and his or her significant other. That way, you can spend more money buying overpriced snacks and filling your face with gummy worms and cherry soda.
- $15 Walmart Gift Card
Who doesn’t enjoy a gift card to Walmart? You can get groceries for one and enjoy that five-course meal while binge-watching your favorite TV series.
- Footie Pajamas
You can choose from a variety of colors for those cold nights. Snuggle up on the couch or in bed while wearing this 100-percent-cotton one-piece footie.
- Assortment of Hot Cocoa and Mug
Since it’s close to winter, staying warm on the inside is just as important as staying warm on the outside. Why not stay warm while drinking something that tastes good?
These kits come in a variety of sizes and colors, and they are reusable. As a special, one-time offer, buy two and get a year subscription to Netflix for free.
Small disclaimer: This kit does not guarantee you will find someone. Communication and human interaction are still a key part in solving your single problem. But if you need to make your alone time a little more enjoyable, pick up the phone and order one Community of Care Package.
