A mama otter gently cares for her pups during an afternoon swim. Graphic by Emma McLean.

AVA ROEMER | OPINION COLUMNIST | aaroemer@butler.edu 

No matter who you are, where you’re from, what you look like or how you identify, we all want some form of love. Maybe it’s love from a romantic partner, your mother or even your pet fish. But besides who or what it is, we all desire to be loved by another entity. Some prefer to consume and hold love, while others find purpose in giving it away. 

One of the many beautiful parts about life is that love can take so many forms that have nothing to do with romance. In today’s society, it’s so easy to let ourselves get caught up in these long, strenuous searches for romantic love, but all we have to do is walk outside to see that love surrounds us all. 

Is love a feeling or an action? This wondering is one of the most challenging questions to answer, as it rarely has one definitive reply. Your answer to that question comes from your personal, one-of-a-kind life experiences.  

Love is all around us. It’s also inside of us — like how an otter holds her baby swimming  — available to give away and cling to. It surrounds us in music, literature, films, nature and relationships — romantic or not. Most people in this world are capable of receiving and giving away the love that is in us.

Leana Kruska, an adjunct professor in communication and media studies, explains her own thoughts on the question of whether or not love is an action or a feeling. 

“[Love] requires action,” Kruska said. “So it’s both, it’s not either or. You can love family, your friends, you can love activities, you can love a partner, [but] it doesn’t have to be defined by any one thing, but that takes action.”

This is a fascinating perspective on love and what that word means. Before love can perhaps even be said, it must show up in actions first. 

When discussing love in some of my classes, I often stop and think about how used — potentially overused — this word is. I’m wondering if our society has become desensitized to the word. We say we love this or that, but do we know what truly loving something is?  

Reading romantic literature, listening to love songs or watching rom-coms makes me think there is a reason these are sometimes fictional forms of media. These “epic” or “true” loves aren’t unrealistic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in falling in love, however, I don’t think how it is portrayed and depicted in the media is how it is in real life.

I find love in the living room with my family, watching a funny movie while my dog barks at the screen. I see it in how my mother gently handles my siblings, or how my dad speaks to me delicately and kindly when I need to talk. I see the abundance of love in my house and almost none of it has to do with romance.  

Sophomore English major Sarah Stavnes finds an abundance of love surrounding her, without it being romantic.

“I find love through my people, my family [and] my best friend. I don’t have any romantic relationships right now, but I think that’s okay,” Stavnes said. “There’s something so powerful about having love for someone that’s not romantic.” 

Oftentimes, we forget that because we may not be in an intimate relationship, we are not loved or we are unlovable. However, there are so many different kinds of love in this world. We find it in community, creativity, passion, religion, spirituality, faith and perhaps the most essential love we will ever need: self-love. 

Love can look very different and come from so many other places. I find it healthy to reminisce or reflect on memories of love to remind myself that I am loved and have so much love to give the world. 

It’s all too common to feel isolated or alone when we feel the void of a romantic relationship. But there are communities all over that offer love — although it might look different than romantic love — that is just as fulfilling and comforting, waiting to be used. 

For some of us, our first loves were our childhood pets.

Shyanna Itza, a first-year marketing and finance double major, shared some of her earliest, most emotional memories of love. 

“I remember when my cat died a few years ago; we had to put him down,” Itza said. “I remember I was just bawling and crying. I knew him from when I was a toddler and he would always follow me [around].”

Even if experiencing picturesque love doesn’t happen very often, we cannot lose sight of how much love is around us in more ways than just that one kind of romantic love, because there are countless versions out there, like the undeniable love-bond between a girl and her childhood cat. 

For me, I find love through my faith. It’s the type of thing where, whether I have many friends, or just one, or whether or not I’m in a relationship, I always find myself at peace knowing that I am and will always be loved by my creator. I also believe that having faith like that provides a sense of purpose in my life, giving me the ability to love others unconditionally and this world, no matter what. 

When we feel emotionally distant from people in our lives, it could be a sign that we aren’t having our love cup filled. It’s so important that everyone feels love in their life. The world isn’t supposed to just exist without the explosive feelings love gives us. If we feel a lack of it in life, we have to reach out, find and take it. We can’t always wait for it to find us. 

Imagine what life would be like without love; how dull and bitter it’d be if we didn’t feel the love around us. Yet, all around us, love is alive and breathing: in the delicate way two swans build their nest, or the sight of an elderly couple of 50 years walking down the street at sunset. Just look around for a moment and see the love this world has to offer.