Fill the quarantine void with these five Instagram accounts. Photo courtesy of Pinterest.
EMILY SCHLORF | STAFF REPORTER | firstname.lastname@example.org
As daily screen times have increased to monumental new heights, it’s safe to say that Instagram scrolling is at a peak as well. But cheer up buttercup! These five instagram accounts provide some mind-numbing, reassuring and funny content to scroll through — and luckily, you don’t have to stress about the travesty of liking a post from three years ago.
Subpar National Parks: @subparparks
Since travel isn’t an option, this Instagram account proves that by staying inside, there isn’t much society is missing out on. Based on real one-star reviews of national parks, @subparparks’ vintage-poster-esque pictures state truths like “there are bugs, and they will bite your face” at Sequoia National Park. Or that Zion National Park’s scenery is “distant and impersonal.” Check out @subparparks to realize that no national park compares to the comfort of your lonely bed at home. The Grand Canyon probably isn’t even that grand after all.
Reductress describes itself as “the first and only satirical women’s magazine,” and contains hilariously relatable posts poking fun at today’s society, spinning vintage tropes into modern condescending quips. Examples of reductress-isms include: “I was a nurse for halloween in third grade — here’s what you need to know about coronavirus” and “how to maintain friendships when you’re bad at texting, talking, and object permanence.” Reductress’ sassy and quick-witted posts have the potential to feed your insatiable social media addiction.
Chris (Simpsons Artist): @chrissimpsonsartist
The weird and wacky cartoons made by the anonymous @chrissimpsonsartist will leave you questioning reality — as well as the artist’s sanity. His stream-of-consciousness captions and unique illustrations are somewhat indescribable, but they do speak for themselves: “how to feel less alone: fill a glove up with sand and put it on your arm so it feels like someone likes you and you are not a pathetic mess,” and “if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure as hell can’t handle me when i am covered in jam because i am too slippery.” Chris’ offbeat instagram posts are guaranteed to confuse you, but hey, lighthearted confusion is better than nostalgia and regret right?
Y.na__ Home Cafe: @y.na__
You’ve seen slime videos. Maybe even soap cutting videos too. Get ready for your new obsession: enchanting Korean drink recipes. From chocolate bubble dalgona coffee to jelly soda, @Y.na__’s home cafe delivers everything from satisfaction to whimsical delight. Accompanied by twinkly music-box songs and jazz standards, the gentle pouring of drinks into aesthetic glasses emits a calmness serenity like no other. This page is guaranteed to put you in a serene trance of admiration — or maybe just inspire you to concoct niche Korean beverages.
Sunglass Cat @sunglasscat
Meet Bagel. Bagel is an Instagram-famous cat. But, unlike other famous pets, Bagel was born without eyelids and has to wear medically-mandated sunglasses to protect her eyes. Bagel’s story has made her into an Instagram hero with a wide collection of fashionable sunglasses and inspiring quotes encouraging her followers that “it’s okay to look and be different.” Despite her disability, Bagel has traveled the world spreading positivity with her success story from animal shelter to glamorous socialite. @Sunglasscat’s stunning looks and adorable crossed-eyes will deliver the happiness and encouragement you need to endure a long day on Zoom.