Photo courtesy of Max Pixel

AUSTIN KLAWITTER | ASSISTANT OPINION EDITOR | aklawitt@butler.edu

The scene is a post-apocalyptic struggle for survival, characterized by a dark hovering aura and zombie-like humanoid creatures shuffling lifelessly through the grounds of Butler University.

It seemed there was once so much hope here, thoughts of fall break and homecoming once brought life to this land. Not anymore, because it is just another day of the week at Butler University.

Students and faculty all around campus are getting back into the swing of things after a bombardment of breaks from work and responsibility.

The average Butler inhabitant will notice a general increase in studying and anxiety as catching up on work becomes the norm.

This post-apocalyptic environment may be dangerous and toxic, but there are some methods you can adopt to survive until Thanksgiving:

1.     Lock yourself in! The weather is changing, and the cold is setting in. The academic buildings around campus are a constant reminder of schoolwork and responsibility. Locking yourself in is guaranteed comfort.
2.     For survival purposes, and especially if you decide to adopt the first tip, it is vital you hoard as much food as you can. It is every person for themselves out here, and as the saying goes: dawgs gotta eat.
3.     Throw your phone away! It’s a distraction; it is full of the aforementioned zombies trying to hold you accountable for your work and it is just a waste of time. You will not need these people during Thanksgiving break, so you certainly should not need them now.
4.     OK, fine. In all seriousness, maintain communication and attendance necessary to receive your college degree. I get it, you are paying all kinds of money to attend Butler University most likely so that you can graduate. Class attendance and some communication is going to be necessary, but always make sure you are wearing a hazmat suit.

Follow this advice to survive the Butler Bubble area until Thanksgiving break!

Fall break and homecoming were fantastic, but there is no denying that getting back to reality is tough. It is important not to fall behind on your responsibilities, as the coming weeks bring advising appointments, deadlines and finals.

The sky is dark and empty, and so are your thoughts of academia. The responsibilities swarm like locusts, coming at you from every angle. Time is against you, and bad grades are the enemy. Sleep is vital, and survival is the only focus.

The helpful tips outlined above will aid in your survival, so adopt them where you can and hunker down until Thanksgiving break ushers in a new age of hope and relaxation. Though while the night is darkest just before the dawn, that dawn is only going to span a week before returning to the wasteland. Good luck and godspeed.