The members of DNCE pose on the red carpet. The group headlined Butlerpalooza, one of the top moments of the year. Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons.
MADELEINE LUCCHETTI | OPINION COLUMNIST| firstname.lastname@example.org
Whew, April already? It can be hard to keep up with us Bulldogs. Our lives are endlessly exciting. As we look fondly back on the 2017-2018 school year, let’s remember the highlights, because at Butler, just about anything is news.
Beta Theta Pi: the new kids on the block! This gang of house-less guys exemplified their “distinction” as a new fraternal colony, replacing Lambda after its unfounded expulsion.
Joe Jonas High at Clowes
SGA snagged another pop icon before they withered into irrelevancy: DNCE’s bizarre performance at Clowes left everyone even more uncomfortable than Kesha did in 2016.
BUPD’s PR Nightmares
Talk of Ford F-150s, armed robberies and sexist remarks reached a boiling point. The vapid dialogue dissolved into healthier conversations, facilitated by programs like Coffee with a Cop.
Andre B. Lacy’s pocket change — $25 million, to be exact — furthered the building of gleaming new classrooms the business students look forward to. But more importantly, it will include a chain bagel place that has our collective stomach rumbling.
Frigid temps and white mush was acceptable in December, especially when it allowed us all a few 2-hour delays for the Butler campus. In April, flakes are much less appreciated.
Richard the Weiner Dog At Starbucks
This cute, leashless daschund threatened to upstage Trip with his late-night Starbucks appearances. If you’re there around 8 p.m., he’ll stop in to enjoy a pup cup and the adoration of squealing study groups.
Potholes Swallow Kids Whole
Indianapolis’ roads were booby-trapped with thousands upon thousands of treacherous, gaping holes. Innocent Target runs ended in trips to auto repair shops, and every Uber driver found the destroyed Westfield Boulevard a major topic of conversation.
Butler Chokes: March Madness
Always the underdog, a glimmer of hope was seen early on in March Madness, but our dreams of glory evaporated with a loss to the Purdue Boilermakers. Luckily, Hinkle now sells alcohol to wash down the bitterness.
A pair of geese reign over the Mall and mark their territory all over Irwin’s steps. The nest can be seen in a corner of the second floor. Grab a table and gawk over these feathered celebrities.
In April, no less. We’re so thankful for the paradisiacal Indiana weather, which has been just lovely — and not indicative of impending climate change/doom whatsoever.
Atherton’s Bug Infestation Prompts Veganism
After Snapchats of maggoted broccoli and salad with grasshoppers pinged phones campus-wide, Aramark seemed to get the message. Frank Ross quickly composed an email detailing efforts to expand vegan options within dining services. It’s relieving to see Butler so staunchly against the slaughter of innocent insects!
It’ll be hard to top the 2017-2018 school year. Can’t wait to see the excitement a new school year will bring for us Dawgs. I’ll catch ya in August. Peace!