Cartoon courtesy of Gordon Johnson.
MADELEINE LUCCHETTI | OPINION COLUMNIST | firstname.lastname@example.org
Our beloved institution has a strong sense of uniform when it comes to back-to-school apparel– maybe perpetuated by our status as a private college.
Whether you’re a bright-eyed young pup or an old Dawg in need of a refresher, here is my definitive guide to Butler University style. Pick out a few items from the list below and you’ll fit right in.
Jerusalem Stompers have never been so wildly popular in midwestern America. Most of us have them in the “Dusty Gray” variation. Maybe if you’re edgy you could pull them off in “Dirt Brown”.
They are a filthy memento of the overpriced Chainsmokers performance you Snapchatted over the summer.
Wear one in case of a sudden excursion to the mountains of Central Indiana! You may get lost on our enormous campus; it’s good to be prepared for the ferocity of the elements.
Tastefully Ripped Jeans
Cuff them neatly and pair with your tasteful ankle tattoo from Metamorphosis. Bonus points if you upload a shot of the aforementioned to Instagram. #vibes.
Fraternity Philanthropy Shirts
These are the Pokemon cards of higher education! Ones from the mythical lands of Phi Psi and Lambda are “rare” and more powerful. Buy ‘em, trade ‘em, catch ‘em all.
A Yeti Tumbler
This should be covered in Redbubble stickers, just like your laptop case. The day-to-day rigor of your academic calendar may dictate what kind of ~beverage~ is inside this handy silver cup.
Counterfeit NBA Jerseys
Buy them from a virus-ridden website, questionable spelling/lettering is preferred. The less you actually know about basketball, the better. Stock up on a few; they’ll come in handy…particularly on Thursdays.
Nondescript Black Leggings
These are standard issue for those on the front lines at Starbucks. Expect to see their numbers double during peak stress weeks: midterms, finals, Big East conference championship.
Spotless, Immaculate Converse
Enjoy their pure, crisp color while you can. They will inevitably be destroyed by the dark forces of The Knoll. No amount of Spray N’ Wash your mom got you will save them, but at least now they have some character!