SARAH COFFING | CULTURE EDITOR

Sophomore Ryan Straughn has just returned from a long day of classes: physics, differential equations and Spanish.

Straughn is a sophomore mechanical engineering and physics major from Elburn, Illinois.

“I wasn’t prepared for today,” he said.

Like many Butler students, Straughn had been hoping for a two-hour delay this morning.

“I didn’t get it,” he said. “I was devastated.”

After a morning spent dealing with the laws of language, mathematics and the universe, Straughn says his day “wasn’t great” except for his breakfast, which consisted of French toast and sausage patties.

“I ate breakfast, and that was pretty good,” he said. Actually, “it was quite good.”

Aside from breakfast foods, Straughn adores pizza.

“Eat as much pizza as you can,” he said.

Specifically, he said, one must order Marco’s Pizza. Not HotBox.

“At Marco’s, they put parmesan on the crust, and it is really good,” he said. “And they have really good cheese. HotBox is so boring and bland.”

Straughn’s assertions about the various brands of pizza are unopen to argument: “These are facts,” he said.

While the sophomore is a typical college student with a typical college budget, he refuses to worry about money spent on pizza, he said.

“Pizza doesn’t count as an expense because it is a necessity for life,” he explained.

In all, he feels that advising people to eat more pizza is the best he has to offer.

“This is supposed to be a serious article, isn’t it?” he joked. “I enjoyed this. This is my legacy.”