A depiction of what business majors might do. Photo courtesy of Getty Images

CASSANDRA STEC | STAFF REPORTER | cmstec@butler.edu

I — an engineering and English major — took on the task of determining what your major says about you. I know some of us are overachievers and have more than one major, feel free to either pick your favorite or combine the two. 

Liberal Arts and Sciences

1. Any Language – Well hello there, world traveler! Either you grew up speaking a language other than English at home, enjoy traveling or want to be a translator. I can think of literally no other reason why this would be someone’s sole major. In that case, great forward thinking and save me a plane ticket.
2. Criminology – So how’s that third NCIS or Criminal Minds binge? Your dedication to cold cases and crime shows is beyond admirable, though your theories can be a bit off-putting. You are either really — to the point of unnerving — interested in crime and serial killers, or want to become a police officer. Either way, are you sure you’re going to become the next Spencer Reid rather than an overworked, under-appreciated public servant?
3. Engineering – How does it feel to develop a superiority complex to hide your feelings of inadequacy? If that hit too close to home, my bad. Have you figured out what engineering actually is besides complicated math and science? No? Well, at least you’ll make bank and aren’t a business major, right? 
4. English – If you are an English major, chances are that a teacher or professor inspired you and encouraged your passion for reading and writing. Depending on the type of English, you either think you could be that English teacher, write the next great American novel, or you just really enjoy literature and grammar. Regardless, I wish you the best of luck and suggest you might want to dial back on the leftist themes that can often be found in your work. 
5. “Hard” Sciences — For all the biology, chemistry, physics, etc. majors, I know it’s hard to decide whether or not you should apply to medical school or just take a gap year. But let’s be honest, either way you probably won’t ever meet your parents expectations and that’s okay. If you make it into medical school, congratulations! Here’s to at least another decade of schooling, but hey, you’ll be helping people.
6. Mathematics – If your major is rooted in mathematics, you could fall into one of three categories. You either wanted to become a teacher, were always good with numbers, or you just like to make others feel inferior because they don’t have to do Calculus 3 or differential equations. Whatever your reasoning may be, you are someone who is very drawn towards the facts and analytics of any given thing; but it must be assured, you are not a robot.

Jordan College of the Arts

1. Art + Design – My quirky art people, how are we doing? Saying that you’re creative shouldn’t be a personality trait. Creativity is a given regarding your major. You see the world in such a different light, it makes me wonder: are you breaking out of the mold when it comes to creating new and exciting art pieces that are true to yourself or are you just copying what you see online and what your professors want? Anyway, have fun with the longest walk possible to the annex.
2. Dance – Speaking of burnout: my dance majors, you’re in the same boat as music majors regarding your credit to work ratio, which concerns me. But — for the most part — you are the kindest and most understanding of majors given the demands and obligations you face. I’m glad you’re back in the studio.
3. Music – How does it feel to have more work to do for fewer credits? You probably made a self-deprecating joke after reading that. At least you are one of the funniest majors I’ve met and have the best work ethic to manage that course load. Hopefully you can get more people to come to your concerts, especially the ones that aren’t BCR related. 
4. Theatre – You’re just vibing and having a good time. Just wait until theatre season heats up and that opening night comes closer. You’ll understand how your JCA peers feel soon enough. Regardless, you are some of the most varying personalities I’ve met. You can either be the most chill and kind or the most chaotic and demanding people; sometimes it’s a ‘to be or not to be’ sort of day for you and I respect that.

Andre B. Lacy School of Business

1. Accounting – Ah, my favorite “mathematics but with more money” majors. If your friends don’t harass you for Excel help or you don’t Google something about it once a semester, are you even an accounting major? It’s all good, we know you’re holding on and doing the best you can, and that’s what matters.
2. Finance – Well hello there, fraternity brothers and people that have no clue what to major in but determined that finance will at least make them more than a few bucks. I wonder how it feels to be consistently slandered by most other colleges. It’s okay, you’re still a valuable part of campus. Though, I think I need to remind you — and all business majors — to say it with me: my RBE is not the lump sum of my personality for this semester. 
3. International Business – Bougie world-traveling business majors, how does it feel to be the elite in LSB? Even though you’re the creme de la creme of business majors, I’m sure it’s been difficult finding classes to take, given the rumors of how few are offered. Regardless, if you’re international business, you enjoy traveling and visiting other countries and need a major that not only allows you to afford being a world traveler but is also the pinnacle of excuses to do that. Just remember, your traveling abroad experience is not a new personality for you to adopt — but I still want to hear about it!
4. Marketing – I’m sure you can’t wait to be managing an Instagram account or coming up with the next migraine-inducing jingle. You may not feel close to other business majors or relate to the stereotypes that come along with LSB, but that’s alright. You’ll either get there eventually or live your best life leading some funky — but fun — marketing campaigns. 

College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences

1. 1. Healthcare and Business – How does it feel being the Hannah Montana of Butler? You want to help people with the healthcare aspect of your major, but you also feel strongly about business and managing people rather than working directly with patients. Kudos to you for recognizing how the combination of those two majors allows you to do what you want and make those Benjamins.
   2. Health Sciences — This one goes out to all of the pre-physicians assistants, pre-physical therapy, pre-dental, pre-another health field majors. We know you have hard classes but nobody cares. Good luck with graduate school applications!
   3. Pharmacy – Well look at that, it’s the super seniors who constantly complain over chemistry and silly little hexagon shapes. If you’re in pharmacy, you either want to make money or want to help people. Regardless, props to you for digging your heels in and committing to six years of paying big bucks so you can make those big bucks.

College of Communication

1. 1. Journalism – The first thing that comes to mind for journalism majors is how they’re either consistently attacked or labeled as a dying industry. Do you work for the Collegian or do you value your sleep and time? Even with all that, you still try your best and often fact-check before you post, which I honestly really appreciate. 
   2. Sports Media – I’m sure you write for the Collegian or some other sports related publication or maybe you have an internship with Butler Athletics. Either way, you do not shut up about sports. We understand you’re passionate, I love that for you. However, I hate hearing about the stats of players and leagues I don’t care about. We get it, you wanted to be a pro-athlete and you had to settle for writing about it.
   3. Strategic Communication –  So, you’re the kind of people behind viral advertisements such as the infamous little lad who loves berries and cream. Or, even better, you’re like that one dude who runs the Washington Post TikTok account. What does your homework look like, exactly? Do you have a “Hey girlie, let’s collab” Instagram comment due tomorrow? Good luck finding enough participants for that focus group. Oh, and by the way, the bags under your eyes perfectly complement that outfit you picked out for your 8 a.m. section of Campaigns. 

College of Education

1. Elementary Education – I do not understand whatsoever the desire to deal with snot-nosed little kiddos every day. I mean, tons of praise and respect to you for doing it, but it doesn’t seem like you will be fairly reimbursed for all your hard work. Regardless, you have a fun job of helping raise kids through their formative years and you have the patience of a saint. Plus, you’re the parent of any friend group and always have the best snacks. 
2. Middle/Secondary Education – You like kids enough to teach middle school or high school — I could never — so I have to give praise to you for that. I hope you are prepared for the yelling you’ll have to deal with from not only the parents, but the students as well. But isn’t it rewarding to see those kids learn and grow? You care deeply for others and probably had a teacher that made a difference in your life and you want to do the same for others, which is rather admirable of you.

Though I didn’t cover every major offered at Butler, perhaps I induced some thought-provoking conversations regarding the majors listed or maybe I earned a laugh from you.