MADELEINE LUCCHETTI | OPINION COLUMNIST | mlucchet@butler.edu
NATE LEMEN | OPINION COLUMNIST | nlemen@butler.edu
After an exorbitant chunk of cash is extracted from your bank account under the guise of “tuition” (because whatever you learned in FYS is certainly worth thousands of dollars), you might break a sweat at the concept of “saving.” Get your money’s worth of this place with our totally realistic, insightful tips.
Steal from Atherton
Invest in Ziploc baggies and sneak them into our top-rated dining hall. When filling the half-clean cereal bowls, dump your heart’s desire of Lucky Charms into these handy babies. Then nab an extra banana with as with as much confidence as you can muster. Stick it in your bag; you’re a flesh-and-blood Fruit Ninja. —ML
Read the Connection
Maybe the Barbie-pink hyperlinks make you want to gag, especially when they ping into your inbox at an ungodly hour of the morning. Buried in some of the irrelevancy is a treasure map to free, horrible pizza and obscure meetings providing ‘Doba queso. —ML
Joyride Dawg Ride
You could walk half a block to Lilly Hall or you could ride in a refurbished creeper van, for free! Get off at every stop, but then request a new ride (does that app even work?) for a true rush. —ML
Fountain Spa Day
Water bill giving you nightmares? Take your pick: one of our seven gleaming, sanitary fountains can provide a truly luxurious shower experience. Afterwards, your skin may peel; take advantage of this affordable exfoliant! —ML
Refuse to Buy Required Materials
Instead, drive your roommates to insanity by asking to borrow their calculator every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Devising excuses for your professor leads to improved critical thinking and problem-solving, two objectives of the class, anyway! —ML
Don’t Buy Books
Yeah, your teacher says you need certain books, but let’s be honest: they are probably gonna just upload the first few chapters to Moodle, and there is bound to be at least a couple of other people who buy the book anyway. Think of it as an opportunity to make new friends! —NL
Go to Office Hours
Everyone knows Starbucks is way overpriced, and Atherton’s coffee really isn’t that good. So what other options are there? It turns out almost every professor has a coffee machine in their office. And sure, you’ll have to come up with some questions to ask them, but if you throw a request for coffee in there, it will just give the implication you were up all night studying for their class. It’s a win-win. —NL
Go on a Date — and get a BCR
Dating is a big part of college life. But do you know what else is? Lacking in monetary wealth. Luckily for you, Butler is a top-rated dance university, and our theater program is not half-bad, either. Take your date to a stunning performance of the Nutcracker or a modern rendition of “The Glass Menagerie,” and knock out a couple of the required BCRs while you’re at it. —NL
Bug Your RA
Listen, your RA is a person just like you. Unfortunately, they happen to have the extra responsibility of planning events for their residents and are always looking for ways to get those knocked out. Is A-Town’s food getting a little old for your sensibilities? Encourage your friendly neighborhood RA that a pizza night would really bring the unit together. They will probably even appreciate the suggestion. —NL
Get Really Into Obscure Literature and Philosophy
Everybody has one of those classes — in all likelihood, probably one of their core requirements — that deals heavily with 18th century German literature or some other such nonsense. And sure, it is probably not super interesting at first, but force yourself to read enough Goethe and you will be able to convince yourself it is a fun way — and one that is cheaper than actually going somewhere — to spend your freetime. —NL
